Lisa G Saw • December 22, 2022

Visualisation And Thinking Positively

It feels appropriate to be writing this blog exactly a year after my stepdad passed away. I wanted to write about visualisation and how it helped me in the lead up to his memorial. My mum had asked me to read a poem on the day and I wanted to be sure I could deliver it without getting emotional. In preparation, it wasn’t enough to just read the poem over and over daily for about a week. I had to visualise myself reading it inside the church on the day. I imagined standing at the lectern in front of the rows of people, all dressed in an array of colour and not the usual drab black. I made a point of imagining myself reading the poem slowly and calmly, with confidence and composure. Every day I practiced and went through this same visualisation.

During the spring, I’d read several self-help books and in the week leading up to my stepdad’s memorial I finished another, ‘The Secret’ by Rhonda Byrne. All of these books were more or less saying the same thing. I was reminded about the importance of being positive and seeing things positively. I was really feeling it. I was so energised and much happier. Literally, the day after finishing ‘The Secret’, I picked up the sheet of paper to practice reading the poem and suddenly, I had a light bulb moment. Even though I’d been reading the words repeatedly several days before, the meaning behind them instantly became clear. The poem was all about viewing death positively and celebrating life. It spoke volumes to me. No longer was I just reading the words, but feeling them. It wasn’t easy, but definitely easier. I was sure I could deliver the poem on the day with confidence now I believed and embraced the words and their meaning. But, just to be sure, I continued to visualise and practice daily.

There’s a slight drawback with visualisation. Not everything is as we picture it. On the morning of the memorial, ahead of the service, I went to the church with my mum. I discovered the interior was nothing like I’d imagined it. There wasn’t just one nave, but three, and I’d be standing in the middle. This threw me! Where would I face? Where would the lectern be positioned? Thankfully, there was time to consider everything, and I was able to practice the reading. I felt happier after that.

The challenge for me during the service was that my reading of the poem was to follow on from my stepsister’s reflections. I’d at least had the foresight to suggest to my mum that we have a hymn in between us. I was very grateful for that on the day. I have no recollection of which hymn it was. I don’t even recall singing. I just remember wiping away the tears, taking some deep breaths and repeating to myself, ‘You’re confident, calm and composed’. The moment of truth had arrived and it was time to read the poem.

He Is Gone

by David Harkins

You can shed tears that he is gone

Or you can smile because he has lived.

You can close your eyes and pray that he will come back

Or you can open your eyes and see all that he has left.

Your heart can be empty because you can’t see him

Or you can be full of the love that you shared.

You can turn your back on tomorrow and live yesterday

Or you can be happy for tomorrow because of yesterday.

You can remember him and only that he is gone

Or you can cherish his memory and let it live on.

You can cry and close your mind, be empty and turn your back

Or you can do what he would want: smile, open your eyes, love and go on.

I was pleased with how my reading went. I wasn’t quite as calm and composed as I’d imagined, but that didn’t matter. The visualisation exercise and positivity had helped. Thankfully, no one could see that my knee was trembling beneath my skirt!

For me, the most touching and memorable moment of the service came right at the end. My stepbrother played ‘The Last Post’ on his cornet. It was very moving. As the music filled the church, I imagined my stepfather sitting at the helm of his boat, setting off to sea. He was smiling as he waved goodbye. Tears rolled down my cheeks, but I felt a sense of peace and calm. I was letting him go.

See next post in this series...

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Autumn in Scotland 2025

By Lisa G Saw • November 23, 2025

This autumn Bob and I returned to the Highands, two years after our last trip to the area. With his son Matt and fiancée Emily now living there, it was a great opportunity to see them, enjoy some wildlife watching and spend time out in nature. The weather forecast for our time away was less than ideal, but we were determined to make the most of our visit, even if that meant wearing waterproofs most days! We stayed in two different self-catered accommodation in the Aigas Valley near where Matt and Emily live, on the west side of Loch Ness. It was lovely staying somewhere new and very picturesque, especially during the autumn. The only downside about the holiday was that I managed to hurt my back the day before leaving. It was very frustrating, but I didn't want it to ruin the holiday, so I tried to focus more on enjoying the experience of where we were and not worrying too much about the photography. That being said, I did use my camera on the first morning as a little test. On that first day, and on two subsequent days, we explored Glen Affric. It looked beautiful with the autumn colours (top and below). On every visit, we stopped at Dog Falls, where the picturesque River Affric tumbles and cascades over the rocks. For a stretch, a path runs alongside it, providing us with plenty of opportunities to stop and look out for any Dippers. As luck would have it, I did spot one very early on. It flew across the river to the far side and proceeded to bob up and down, periodically diping its head into the water looking for food. It was wonderful to have some time watching it, and keeping up with it as it worked its way down river. But eventually, it flew off and we lost sight of it. Unfortunately, it was to be our only Dipper sighting the whole time we were in these parts and none of the photos were worth keeping.

A Day at Minsmere

By Lisa G Saw • July 6, 2025

Bob and I had just experienced a wonderful four days in Norfolk in search of the Swallowtail butterfly , which I'd never seen before, and we decided to head home via RSPB Minsmere in Suffolk. Both of us had only ever been to this reserve once before, many years ago, before we knew each other. That first visit for me was a memorable occasion because it was the first time I saw Eurasian Otters in the wild and my first ever sighting of an Eurasian Bittern. Aside from it being a lovely nature reserve to visit anyway, it was the lure of the bittern that was calling me back. We'd already had two lovely sightings of this shy and elusive waterbird in Norfolk, but I had higher hopes for a better, closer sighting at Minsmere having seen some fabulous photos on social media from a few weeks prior. So, whilst we were sad to be leaving Norfolk, I was eager for the day ahead and what we might see. Things were off to a great start as we followed the woodland trail to one of the hides and saw a small cluster of people on the path ahead looking up. Someone had spotted a Tawny Owl high up in the trees. There was even a scope set up pointing towards it. The gentleman who owned it kindly invited us to have a look. It was fabulous to see the owl nestled close to the tree trunk and with its eyes shut, having a few winks. They sleep a lot in the daytime since they're mostly nocturnal. After looking through the scope, it was a case of trying to locate it it with my bins and see if I could take a photo. I was pleased with the image I was able to capture. More people came along the path and some people were struggling to spot it. Bob and I both ended up helping others try to locate it. It can be very difficult describing to others which line of trees and branches to follow with their eyes!

Swallowtails in Norfolk: Part 2

By Lisa G Saw • June 30, 2025

In the first part of this blog post - Swallowtails in Norfolk - I wrote about our first two days spent mostly at Strumpshaw Fen, where I successfully saw my first ever Swallowtail butterfly. Following this, we had two more days exploring the area. I still hoped I'd see more of this beautiful native species at some of the other reserves. DAY 3 The forecast for this day wasn't great, but at least dry. There wouldn't be much chance of any sunshine until the afternoon, when it would warm up a bit. So, we decided to head to Buxton Heath, on the other side of Norwich. Bob knew it was a good site for the Silver-studded Blue butterfly. It's a species we have in just two locations within Sussex - both of which we've been to. It's a species that thrives on heathland and can be found in good numbers in the right habitat if it's managed well - with grazing or periodic burning in patches. It turned out the forecast wasn't very accurate. When we arrived, it was already brightening up and our chance of finding roosting butterflies disappeared very quickly. However, it was lovely exploring somewhere new and aside from one other couple and a man working there, we didn't see anyone else for the three hours we were there. We left the car park and headed towards the northern corner of the heath first and in next to no time, Bob spotted one flying. I stopped and looked down and saw there was another right beside me. I used my bins to take a closer look and suddenly noticed there were ants crawling around it. Instantly, I knew this was something special. The butterfly had only just emerged. I quickly took some photos but was having real issues with my camera. I was so disappointed not to get any good photos. The butterfly is out of focus but the ant is sharp!!! Hmmm! Not what I was going for! This close relationship with ants occurs with a few of the blue species of butterfly, such as the Large Blue, Adonis Blue and Chalkhill Blue. It's the first time I've ever seen the ants in attendance of a new emerged butterfly, so I was thrilled at least to have seen it.