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Lisa G Saw • December 22, 2022

Visualisation And Thinking Positively

It feels appropriate to be writing this blog exactly a year after my stepdad passed away. I wanted to write about visualisation and how it helped me in the lead up to his memorial. My mum had asked me to read a poem on the day and I wanted to be sure I could deliver it without getting emotional. In preparation, it wasn’t enough to just read the poem over and over daily for about a week. I had to visualise myself reading it inside the church on the day. I imagined standing at the lectern in front of the rows of people, all dressed in an array of colour and not the usual drab black. I made a point of imagining myself reading the poem slowly and calmly, with confidence and composure. Every day I practiced and went through this same visualisation.

 

During the spring, I’d read several self-help books and in the week leading up to my stepdad’s memorial I finished another, ‘The Secret’ by Rhonda Byrne. All of these books were more or less saying the same thing. I was reminded about the importance of being positive and seeing things positively. I was really feeling it. I was so energised and much happier. Literally, the day after finishing ‘The Secret’, I picked up the sheet of paper to practice reading the poem and suddenly, I had a light bulb moment. Even though I’d been reading the words repeatedly several days before, the meaning behind them instantly became clear. The poem was all about viewing death positively and celebrating life. It spoke volumes to me. No longer was I just reading the words, but feeling them. It wasn’t easy, but definitely easier. I was sure I could deliver the poem on the day with confidence now I believed and embraced the words and their meaning. But, just to be sure, I continued to visualise and practice daily.

 

There’s a slight drawback with visualisation. Not everything is as we picture it. On the morning of the memorial, ahead of the service, I went to the church with my mum. I discovered the interior was nothing like I’d imagined it. There wasn’t just one nave, but three, and I’d be standing in the middle. This threw me! Where would I face? Where would the lectern be positioned? Thankfully, there was time to consider everything, and I was able to practice the reading. I felt happier after that.

 

The challenge for me during the service was that my reading of the poem was to follow on from my stepsister’s reflections. I’d at least had the foresight to suggest to my mum that we have a hymn in between us. I was very grateful for that on the day. I have no recollection of which hymn it was. I don’t even recall singing. I just remember wiping away the tears, taking some deep breaths and repeating to myself, ‘You’re confident, calm and composed’. The moment of truth had arrived and it was time to read the poem.

 

 

He Is Gone

by David Harkins

 

You can shed tears that he is gone

Or you can smile because he has lived.

 

You can close your eyes and pray that he will come back

Or you can open your eyes and see all that he has left.

 

Your heart can be empty because you can’t see him

Or you can be full of the love that you shared.

 

You can turn your back on tomorrow and live yesterday

Or you can be happy for tomorrow because of yesterday.

 

You can remember him and only that he is gone

Or you can cherish his memory and let it live on.

 

You can cry and close your mind, be empty and turn your back

Or you can do what he would want: smile, open your eyes, love and go on.

 

 

I was pleased with how my reading went. I wasn’t quite as calm and composed as I’d imagined, but that didn’t matter. The visualisation exercise and positivity had helped. Thankfully, no one could see that my knee was trembling beneath my skirt!

 

For me, the most touching and memorable moment of the service came right at the end. My stepbrother played ‘The Last Post’ on his cornet. It was very moving. As the music filled the church, I imagined my stepfather sitting at the helm of his boat, setting off to sea. He was smiling as he waved goodbye. Tears rolled down my cheeks, but I felt a sense of peace and calm. I was letting him go.

Argentina

By Lisa G Saw • February 13, 2025
PRIOR TO EPIC ANTARCTIC ADVENTURE I'd given up the idea of visiting Antarctica after the trip I was booked on in November 2020 was cancelled due to Covid. It was meant to be a 50th Birthday treat for myself. As you can imagine, it was hugely disappointing. With the future looking so uncertain at that time, especially being self-employed, I abandoned the idea of going because it was just so much money. I know there were many people that had cancelled holidays then, including Bob's son, Matt, who'd been due to visit Madagascar. In 2024, Matt was finally having that dream holiday and when we were having a meal out one evening he was talking about his impending trip. For the first time in ages, I mentioned my own disappointment and how it didn't seem likely I'd go to the Antarctic, especially as Bob didn't seem interested in going. In a rather bizarre turn of events, later that same evening Matt received some information from Birdquest about a 50% discount on an Antarctic trip leaving in 6 weeks with Oceanwide Expeditions. I couldn't believe it! What's more, after reading about the trip and the dates, I realised it coincided with my mid term break in classes, and so it seemed entirely possible I could go. I'd have to extend my break from teaching to allow enough time to travel to/from South America and for the 21 days of the trip, but it seemed crazy not to take advantage of this amazing offer. I was keen to go, Bob was less so, and we took a weekend to think about it, look at all the costs involved, before making a decision. In that time, we nearly both talked ourselves out of going. For me, it was largely to do with whether I should go, considering the impact such a voyage has on the polar region and also my carbon footprint. After much deliberation, I decided it was such an amazing opportunity, I didn't want to pass it up. I needed to let go of any guilt in choosing to go and it was also important to me to find some balance - such as making a donation, sharing the photos and the experience not only in this blog, but by giving talks. This was in alignment with my greater purpose, which is to inspire people to care about nature and this planet and not just what's on our own doorstep, but all around the world. I'd actually given up the hope that Bob would join me, but as we looked through the promotional photos for the trip, he suddenly said, 'Okay! Just book it!' I was so surprised, but thrilled he was going to join me. What an amazing experience we would have together. I quickly booked before he could change his mind and six weeks later we were flying out to Argentina to begin our epic adventure.
Scotch Argus

Cumbria Revisited

By Lisa G Saw • December 4, 2024
Earlier in the year, Bob and I had a wonderful holiday up in Scotland, focusing mostly on the Isle of Mull. I've written several blog posts about this trip, which you can read by clicking on this link . However, at the start and the end of our time up north, we went looking for new butterfly species for me - ones we don't see in the south of England. I'm currently in the process of trying to see all UK butterfly species. During our last few days of that holiday, we were in Cumbria searching for the Large Heath, Northern Brown Argus and the Mountain Ringlet. It was too early for the High Brown Fritillary following the cool damp spring, however, there was a chance of seeing some in early August, albeit potentially very tatty and right at the end of their flight season. We'd already started mulling over the idea of returning to Cumbria at that time of year to see another butterfly species new to me, the Scotch Argus. The opportunity to see both species was too tempting to pass by. So, we returned to Cumbria on 6th August, but this time just for two days. It was all we could fit in to our schedule.

Cumbria Highlights

By Lisa G Saw • November 15, 2024
After our wonderful holiday up in Scotland, which I've written about in my previous posts - the last of which was Other Mull Highliahts - Bob and I headed to Cumbria. It was a great way for us to break up our journey south. We were based in Kendal. We had three full days and three new butterfly species for me to find: Large Heath, Northern Brown Argus and Mountain Ringlet. None of these species can be found in the south and I'm currently on a quest to see all species of Butterfly in the UK (mainland). I knew it was going to be a challenge because once again, the weather really wasn't on our side with mostly rain, wind and overcast conditions. But, after our success in Fort William and seeing my first Chequered Skipper in less than ideal conditions, I was optimistic there was still a chance of success, albeit small. DAY 1 Our focus on the Saturday was the Large Heath butterfly. It's a species that's endangered in the UK because so much of its habitat has been destroyed. They like wet boggy land and Meathop Moss Nature Reserve is a great place to see them. It was less than 30 minutes drive from our hotel. We headed off in really dreary weather wondering how the day ahead would unfold.
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