The Journey Work

By the middle of 2022, having been coping with the loss of my stepfather and two chronic injuries and all the stress those bring, I’d done quite a bit of reading and tried a few emotional exercises, as outlined in my earlier posts in this series. As a result, I was generally feeling much more positive about life and the direction I was headed in. However, this didn’t translate into reduced pain in either my foot or shoulder. I was less concerned about my foot, as I’d seen a podiatrist and I felt reassured that things would eventually improve, if I kept to my daily stretching regime over the summer. It was my shoulder that felt like the bigger issue. Whilst I could’ve had a quick fix steroid injection, instinctively I knew this would not get to the root of the problem – why my frozen shoulder had flared up in the first place. Plus, I was aware of the same early warning signs that were starting to develop in my left shoulder too.

The next significant part of my emotional journey was as a result of reading The Journey by Brandon Bays – an American author and motivational speaker. It was Caroline Kremer, the Bowen technique practitioner I’d visited, who had mentioned the name to me. I’d never heard of Brandon. Having looked her up online, I watched a few YouTube videos in which she talked about her experience. Her story was fascinating. It wasn’t even recent. She published the book back in 1999. I wondered how I’d never heard of her before. But, sometimes, things come into your life at exactly the point it needs to and I felt compelled to read her book. So, I ordered a copy and when the time was right, I read it – in one day! I couldn’t put it down. This was a few weeks before my stepfather’s memorial.

In The Journey, Brandon wrote about her life as a motivational speaker and how she had to overcome some pretty major challenges in her life. The most notable being a basketball sized tumour that was growing in her uterus and how she managed to cure herself of it without any medical intervention – in six weeks. It sounds impossible – suspect even, to those a little more sceptical. But, bear with me, the theory behind what she achieved is fascinating.

Her premise for attempting to clear herself of her cancer was based on the theory that the cells throughout our body have the capability to hold on to emotional memories. Even though our cells are regenerating all the time – for instance an eye only takes a few days to have all new cells – they do so retaining these memories. In fact, there is a growing body of scientific evidence to support this theory.

I found myself asking, Could it really be possible? I might not understand physiologically or biochemically everything that’s going on within my body to the same degree as a medically trained doctor, but I know the body is made up of cells, even the brain. If memories can be stored in the cells of the brain, why not the cells in other parts of the body?

I’ve heard anecdotal stories about transplant patients who’ve developed tastes for things they didn’t previously like, only to discover the donor had liked those same things. This would suggest that the emotional memory was connected to the cells.

Having read about how inextricably linked the body and mind are, the theory really seemed plausible to me. We know that stress has been linked to many illnesses and diseases. It isn’t a huge leap to consider that it’s entirely possible our negative emotions and memories might also manifest in our bodies in surprising ways. At the very least I was open to the possibility there was truth in this theory. That was all I needed to do…just be open.

Brandon’s discovery was that in order to be happy and healthy we need to clear the negative emotional memories from our past and let go of them. That by delving deep inside yourself and releasing such negative emotions, feelings and experiences, you will find your inner peace, your essence, the core of who you are. Your soul. She shared her own personal journey and trauma that needed to be released and the freedom that followed. It all sounds very spiritual and new age, and for many that might not sit comfortably. All I can recount is my experience and what a profound effect reading her book had on me. Because, as I read her story, it awoke deep emotional feelings and memories for me at very specific moments. I realised I had my own pain to let go of.

What if this is the reason for the inflammation in my shoulder?

In the back of the book, Brandon included details of going through the process for yourself. But, the recommendation is to undertake it with someone who has already been through it. This was a stumbling block. But, I figured, as the book was written over 20 years ago, there were bound to be practitioners in the UK who could help me go through the process. In fact, if there were, surely this in itself was not only merit in the process, but evidence it was successful in helping other people. So, out of curiosity as much as anything else, I went online. Sure enough, I found several people in my local area alone. There was plenty of choice. In the end, I came across Anne Pether, who was also a reflexologist, massage therapist and reiki healer. There was something about her profile that resonated with me, so I reached out to her initially via email and ended up making an appointment. I was both nervous and excited. I didn’t have much to lose, except a bit of time and money. Even though I didn’t know what to expect, I felt sure it would be beneficial in some way.

In the interim, before my appointment, I made a list of all the memories and feelings that had come to the surface whilst I was reading the book. It wasn’t short. There were some minor things as well as a few major things. There were lots of different emotions associated with each memory. There seemed to be no commonality. However, they virtually all involved the various men in my life. Perhaps it was no coincidence at all that the pain in my right arm is the side associated with the masculine. After compiling the list, one by one, I systematically worked my way through each memory. I thought about each situation and used my journal to write about whatever residual feelings there may have been. Some memories didn’t require much work. I felt like I’d let go of a lot of it already. But, by the time I was done, I felt I’d dealt with everything.

The day of the appointment arrived, just over a week after my stepfather’s memorial. All nerves had disappeared and I simply felt calm. Anne was lovely. I felt at ease with her straight away. We chatted naturally and easily from the get-go and very quickly slipped into The Journey Work process as I closed my eyes and I continued to talk, guided by her comments and questions.

The memorial had been an obvious starting point as I recounted the day and the feelings that arose as I spoke about it. When I felt like I’d let go of all the emotions there, something rather unexpected happened. I started to feel dizzy. With my eyes still shut, I instinctively placed my arm on the table beside me, to steady myself and feel grounded. Anne said it was normal. The body was releasing. Healing. The dizziness didn’t last long and soon I just felt a great sense of calm. I visualised myself standing in a calm expanse of water, with only blue sky above and nothing else. It was lovely. Relaxing.

It was great I’d found the calm so quickly, but that wasn’t the end of it. Anne asked me, from this place of calm, if there were any memories surfacing for me. One instantly came to mind. It had been one of the major ones on my list. I remember thinking, Oh! We’re going there are we? With more than a little trepidation, I continued to open up, with absolute honesty, and talk about a trauma from my past, many years ago. It was the first time I’d spoken of it to a complete stranger. It was painful and involved a lot of emotions, and tears. But it was hugely releasing.

The details are perhaps not necessary, as The Journey Work process varies for everyone because each experience is unique and personal. It can be lengthy, as it was for me – just under three hours. To summarise though, after talking through the memory, I imagined sitting around a campfire of love and acceptance. I had the opportunity as the younger me, to express what needed to be said, out loud. In fact, I had a conversation with all the people involved, only I was speaking all the parts – out loud. One aspect, that was quite powerful, was that my present-day self was also at the campfire, with all the knowledge and wisdom I’ve gained in my lifetime, talking to my younger self. At one point, I was visualising the two versions of my self holding hands, looking through the trees towards the sun’s rays that were streaming through. It was quite a beautiful moment. When my younger self was filled with all the tools to help me deal with the situation, I was able to replay the events of the past, only this time the outcome was different. It was hugely empowering.

Ultimately, it was with forgiveness that I could truly, and deeply, let go of the stored pain. Not only for those involved, but my own forgiveness.

By the end of the session the tears of pain and sadness were replaced with happier ones. My eyes were stinging by the end of it all. But, I felt as though a huge weight had been removed from my shoulders. I felt lighter. A memory I’d barely thought much of for years, had been deeply suppressed in my subconscious and I’d had no idea how much it had impacted me. How it had even shaped me as an individual. It was so enlightening. But better still, I noticed the benefits of the process physically too. Not straight away…the body isn’t that quick to heal. But, by the end of the month I suddenly noticed the pain in my right shoulder was gone. The range of motion was still severely limited. But, with time and a little work, I knew that would return. And it has!

On reflection, I realise how writing in my journal really helped me mentally. It allowed me to explore the different memories and emotions that might have been causing me problems at a deeper level. It allowed me to release things from my mind. But, the journal work wasn’t sufficient alone to allow healing at the cellular level. That only happened after going through the Journey Work process. Mentally processing trauma is only one part of the equation. Physical release is necessary too.

I’ve since discovered someone else I know who has been through the same process for completely different reasons, with similar beneficial results. It’s lovely to have found a kindred spirit who understands how powerful the process is. I’m sure it could help many more people too, if they knew about it. Ultimately, that’s why I wanted to share my experience, to help increase awareness.

Now, more than ever, I understand how important it is not to suppress your emotions, especially with traumatic events, as this has the power to manifest itself with health issues later in life. Our health and well-being are in our own hands and it’s great to know there are tools at our disposal to help look after ourselves. The Journey Work was one of the most significant moments of last year for me, but also, simply another stepping stone on my journey of discovery and in understanding how we have the power to heal ourselves.

See first post in this series...