Taking Time Out

I’m trying to live my best life possible! Like most people, I face challenges daily that can affect my stress levels and my general wellbeing. As I strive to move forward, grow and develop, and maintain a sense of balance and calm, I’m reminded of some things that help me. Writing is something I’ve always enjoyed doing, especially about my personal experiences. I not only find it therapeutic, but also love sharing. It gives me the opportunity to connect and hopefully inspire, motivate and encourage others. I believe we all deserve to have the life we want for ourselves.

Sometimes I find I just need to stop! The hectic pace and pressures of day to day life can weigh me down emotionally and physically. Over the years I’ve found ways of managing or coping with my stress in the short term, for a few hours, whether that’s through exercise, a social event, enjoying quiet time or a relaxing activity. But, I think at times these solutions are only an avoidance tactic. They don’t prevent the same stresses returning the next day, week or month.

How often do we actually reflect on and reassess the different areas of our life, such as relationships, career and health? Do you ask yourself if you’re happy, or ask what would make you happy? Moreover, how often do we make conscious choices on the big things that matter and make significant changes to improve the quality of our life? Only now I’m mulling it over, I realise I do it fairly often. But, I imagine there are some people who might find it quite difficult.

Every year at Christmas, I voluntarily take at least a two-week break (sometimes longer). I have done for quite some time now. Everything tends to wind down then, so it’s a good time for a break. I love catching up with my family and maybe a few friends too. It’s a great opportunity to rest and recharge my batteries. But, I also look forward to having more time just for me – to be spontaneous and free. I might work on a project, get out in nature or simply declutter my home – and my mind, for that matter.

I’m one of those people who writes a newsletter every year to send to those I don’t get to see often. For me, it’s quite cathartic. It gives me the chance to reflect on all the highs and lows of the year that’s passed. Then New Year approaches and I start to think about what may lie ahead. I don’t make a list of resolutions. Instead, I set myself goals. During the year I usually forget about the list. So, when the next New Year comes around, it’s really interesting to remind myself of what I wrote and how much of it I actually achieved. I’m often pleasantly surprised. Realistically though, I probably set myself too many goals, and during the year never have enough time to do what I’d like to do. Work and life pressures get in the way. But, it always feels good to set the intention at the start of the year and have a focus.

Taking an extended break has always been so beneficial to me. Being self-employed has made it easier to do and I know I’m very lucky, in that respect. However, I appreciate, it’s not easy for everyone. There are any number of good valid reasons that prevent us from voluntarily taking time out. Responsibilities and the financial implications are probably high on the list of deterrents. But sometimes, something major happens in our life, and we’re literally forced to put everything on pause.

For me, the first time this happened, I was in my mid-twenties. Completely out of the blue, my father died. He was only 65. Of course, it goes without saying just how painful that experience was. Everything in my life suddenly stopped, not just for the funeral but whilst sorting and clearing his house. It’s all a bit of an emotional blur now. When I thought I was ready to resume my life as before, things were different. I felt different. Those who had never experienced that kind of grief and loss didn’t understand how I felt or how long the grief could last – I’m not talking months, but years.

Death has a way of making you reflect on life. I certainly found myself wondering what my purpose was and what I wanted. My shift in thinking ultimately lead to a cascade of events – the end of a long term relationship, buying my first house, the threat of losing my job and then finally, actually my choosing to quit. It felt like the previous three years had been leading to that one precise moment in time.

An unpleasant situation had developed with a colleague and I thought to myself, I don’t need this! That was when I took another significant break. Though it might seem as if quitting my job was a big decision, really it was quite simple. In my heart, I knew it was what I wanted. I even knew it at the start of that week off. The challenge, all my thinking, was trying to justify the decision to myself and working out how I was going to manage financially and what I was going to do next. By the end of that week my head was throbbing!

Until that point, many of my decisions about my career had been relatively easy – natural steps and progressions. But all of a sudden, I realised how far down one path I’d gone and I didn’t want to be on that road any more. I wanted to try something completely different and explore other, more creative options. I knew I’d be starting a whole new journey in my life. I wasn’t entirely sure where it would lead, but I had faith in myself that things would work out alright. Actually, not knowing was exciting! In some ways, it was a massive leap, but I never felt daunted because I focused on each of the small steps I needed to take.

My new direction lead me to Australia. What an amazing year I had! I would even go as far as saying, life changing. One day you might get to hear about that, as that’s a whole other story.

Life after Australia wasn’t all plain sailing and financially things were extremely difficult for a while, but I survived. Eventually, I discovered a job I felt I was born to do! I started my own business teaching adult dance classes, which I still do to this day. I love it! It doesn’t feel like work. Over the years the business has grown and developed. Ultimately, it has been a success, but more importantly, it still makes me very happy.

The next big enforced time out didn’t come for many years – until 2020. There’s no prizes for guessing why! Never has one thing affected so many people globally at the same time. The Covid-19 pandemic has abruptly changed billions of people’s lives in so many different ways. It brought out the best and the worst in us. Despite all the pain, suffering and death, there are always lessons that can be learned and positives we can take away. Even though each person’s experience has been slightly different, depending on their situation and stage in life, there’s possibly one common thing that has occurred. The vast majority of people had the opportunity to realise the things they valued most in life. For many, that’s resulted in significant change.

Back in March 2020, I didn’t get a time out. I was too busy focusing on finding ways to keep my business going and indirectly support all the lovely people who came to my classes. I had to learn new skills very quickly so I could offer Zoom classes and create YouTube videos for sharing. There were so many practical aspects to get my head around. It was a very intense and stressful time. That’s without considering any of the personal effects of the restrictions and isolation.

Whilst I was able to ease my foot off the gas for a short while during the summer, I really didn’t get the time out I sorely needed until the end of 2020 and the third lockdown. I continued to work, but at a much more relaxed pace. I gently eased into each day and had more time for other things. Getting out in nature with my camera was something I’d enjoyed before the pandemic, but it moved up to another level during it. Like so many people I appreciated the benefits of being in green space, seeing each season unfolding, and also taking the time to really notice what was around me. There’s always something new to learn and discover. What’s even better, I’ve also made new friends who have similar interests.

I realised even then, what a blessing it was to have more time. I didn’t want to lose that. But, no sooner had I resumed teaching in person, life got busy again. I was doing my all too familiar juggling act! I found myself missing the simplicity in life I’d become used to during the pandemic – a more relaxed way of doing things. How quickly everything reverted to the old way of being! Plans and ideas I had for the future slipped into the background as I continued at pace on the treadmill of life.

I mustn’t complain, because I know I’m very fortunate to have navigated through the last few years relatively unscathed and with my business still intact, albeit diminished in size. For a while I thought I was doing alright. I was focused on the task of recovery and rebuilding. But, things don’t always go according to plan. Another chain of events unexpectedly stopped me from moving forward.

If you throw into the mix the menopause, the passing away of my stepfather, stress with work and various other emotional issues, out comes not one, but two chronic injuries. Feeling emotionally drained, physically exhausted and in pain, it was as if my body was literally shouting at me, STOP!

Initially, I took a couple of weeks off work, then a few more. But, I don’t think I truly relaxed. In the back of my mind I was wondering when I’d be able to teach again and how long the injuries would last. This only added to my stress. I can see now how I was definitely too busy trying to fight what was happening to me, rather than accepting. I was so reluctant to take a substantial break from teaching, but finally I gave in. It was time to truly ‘listen to my body’!

I only made that decision a few weeks ago and already I’ve come to realise the injuries have been a blessing in disguise. I’m reminded how taking time out is so important, whatever the circumstances that bring it about. We can always take positives from negative situations, if we look for them. Once again, I have time. How valuable and precious it is! This has been a golden opportunity for me to think about what’s important and what makes me happy. Already, I have greater clarity and a renewed purpose. My future is in my hands and now I’m ready to move forward. Whatever happens, I know I’ll be okay. That belief gives me the confidence and faith in myself and what I can achieve. I’m so grateful for the love and support of those around me. Knowing I have this gives me the strength to live my best life possible.

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