Emotional Trauma Release
I’ve been on quite an emotional journey this year, which I’ve been writing about in my blog series Living The Best Life Possible. The most recent post was about Symptom Dialogue, an exercise I’d read about in The Mind Body Bible by Dr Mark Atkinson. The idea was to look beyond my physical injuries and tap into my deeper wants, needs and emotions. As a result, I gained greater awareness and clarity. From this starting point, I began to deal with other issues that were affecting my emotional state. I was ready. So, just one week later, I tried another exercise outlined in the same book, Emotional Trauma Release.
As Dr Mark Atkinson outlines, emotional trauma can mean so many different things and in this context mostly relates to abuse, bullying, heartbreak, accidents, phobias and witnessing a disturbing incident. It isn’t just about the event, but how we respond to it, which may continue long afterwards. It may be hard to process if we go into denial, shock or feel overwhelmed. ‘The painful emotional charge generated in response to the event gets lodged and trapped inside of you.’ How we respond to emotional trauma will also vary hugely from person to person. Some of the possible effects are depression, insomnia, anxiety and addictions, with ‘health, relationships, work and confidence being the most badly affected.’ If you experience distress, upset, anger, irritability, numbness or any negative emotional state when you think about a specific person or event, then at some level you’re still affected. I knew this was true for me.
Just over six months earlier, my stepdad died of cancer. I was still traumatised by the last time I saw him – the day before he died. He didn’t look like the man I knew. I’d never seen someone so close to death before. Whenever I’ve thought about him since then, it was that unwanted memory that always came back first and brought with it the tears. The emotions. The sadness and pain. With his memorial only a few weeks away, it was time for me to let go of the sadness. I was starting to feel positive about the road ahead and I wanted to have happier memories of him instead. I felt sure that it would help me gain some sense of closure.
In the book, there were two exercises outlined, and I ought to stress that the recommendation was to do them with an experienced practitioner, especially if you feel overwhelmed as you go through the process. As I was already in a more positive mental space and sufficient time had passed since the event itself, I figured I’d manage alright on my own. I tried EmoTrance, which was developed by Silvia Hartmann. It was a relatively simple and short exercise, which is why it appealed to me so much.
Following the guidance in the book, I sat down and thought about the memory I wanted to release, then wrote it on a piece of paper, placing it faced down on my lap. I took a few long deep breaths and then turned it over. Slowly and purposefully, I read the words again. A wave of emotion washed over me. Tears were streaming down my cheeks as I fully gave in to the sadness. I placed my hand on my chest. That’s where I could feel it. The idea was to try to get a sense of which direction the energy wanted to go, where it wanted to exit my body. Almost immediately, I could feel a tightening in my throat, as if the energy was stuck there. I scarcely knew if it was real or imagined. Very gently, I massaged my neck with my fingers. Instinctively, I opened my mouth and kept it open for a minute, hoping I was letting it go. I’ll admit, I felt a little foolish. But, it also felt like the right thing to do.
I wasn’t sure if it had worked, so I went through the whole process again, just slightly modifying what I wrote on the paper. Afterwards, I definitely felt better, but wasn’t really certain whether it had been successful. However, later that evening a friend called me for a catch up and I ended up telling her about the memory and the exercise. No negative emotions emerged at all when I was talking to her. Absolutely none. I couldn’t quite believe it. In fact, the following morning I decided to take a moment to check in with how I felt again, just to be sure the trauma was cleared. I let my mind wonder back to that last day once more. The sadness didn’t return. It was gone. I couldn’t quite believe how such a simple exercise had been so effective. It was amazing. I felt so empowered because I now had an exercise I could call upon again, should the need arise.
Around the same time, I’d been reading about how important it is to stay positive in all aspects of life. I guess, in many ways, because I set the intention to let go of the sad memories, because I was ready, it happened. I didn’t want to be sad anymore. It’s amazing how a simple mind shift can work wonders. It’s impossible to feel sad when you’re thinking happy thoughts. I decided to replace the old memory of my stepdad with a happier one. I pictured him having fun dancing. He had his own unique style, which made me smile. I brought the memory back to life by remembering what he was wearing, what the room was like and the lighting. I could visualise it all like a colour movie, full of movement. I could even hear his voice. I remembered how I felt on the evening and the smile returned to me once again. Hopefully, in the years to come, it will be one of the memories that will stay with me.
